Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Retail Wednesdays!

Sonshine and I are doing this whole, Retail Wednesday, and I really want to do this post (even though I really don't have time for this right now), so I'm just going to make it really quick, okay? (And I have a post I'm trying to do, but I'm having issues with cameras again, so it might be a little while.)

Anyway. Here is the next installment of Retail Wednesday:

Looking for books...

This happened a while ago, and it is similar to other stories I have told before, but I will try to make it as interesting as possible:

A customer calls saying that she is looking for a book.

"Yes?" I say, waiting.

"Well, it's by some guy named Dobson."

Uh-oh. This is not a good sign. "James Dobson?"

"Yes! That's it!"

"Well, do you know what the name of the book was?"

"Something about parenting," (almost all of his books are on parenting.) "I don't know, I thought it was kinda' expensive" (insert awkward laugh here).

I stare at the phone. So far she has been as helpful as a rabbit on drugs.

I am a bunny on drugs...?

"Well, he's written a lot of books, so I kinda' need a title."

There's a pause.

"Um... Do you know the title?" I ask.


"I can't look it up without the title."

"Fine! I'm going to Borders!" *click*

Mumbling, "They're going to need the title too..."

It was kind of disappointing, because I was hoping she would call Borders and have Sonshine pick up the phone. Because then Sonshine could have gone Karate on her.

Cat-rate Chop!

Then there was the time this older lady came up. She smiled.

"Would you like a cookie?"
"No! Never trust old ladies!" *shove*

I smiled.

I smile like a gorilla. Yay!

"Do you have a book. It is published by such-and-such, is 8 and 1/2 by 11, and has a blue cover."
(Why do they always have a blue cover?)

"You don't know the author or title?"

"No. But it's 8 and 1/2 by 11. There's not a lot of books like that."

I stare at her, unable to scream that I can not look up a book by the publisher, book size, or cover art. Mostly because she is a cute old lady, but also because my boss would probably fire me faster than two speeding grandpas.

"I will beat you, grandpa-man, with my shiny red scooter!"


Falen said...

ahhh the old "blue cover" book. I remember once i was helping a man who was looking for a book with the word "ass" in it. He was british and he knew the book was a technology book but i could not find anything close to what he was looking for. AND THEN i finally realized he was saying "ice" and that changed everything. Stupid accent

Joan Crawford said...

Ha! That granny drawing is creepy! It is so hard to be mad at old people (but I manage).

AchingHope said...

@Falen: Ahahaha... Why on earth was he looking for a book on ice? That is just the randomest thing.

@Joan: Yes, yes. Tis true.

Blam said...

It is so hard to be mad at old people (but I manage).
Thank Zeus I finally put up that Post-It on the computer that says "Do not eat while reading Joan's comments unless someone's on hand for a tracheotomy."

VW: achmens — How grandmothers from the Old Country complain about their husbands.

Blam said...

I am a bunny on drugs...?
When Young Ben took one of Oldham's special tablets, this is what he saw.

Teebore said...

AchingHope: is it safe to assume you're a fellow Barnes and Noblellian, unlike your sister?

Or do you work for one of those crazy non-Empirical "independant" book stores?

I LOVE when customers play the "I'm going to such and such" card. Like another store can find your book with half-assed info any better than we can...

AchingHope said...

@Blam: When Young Ben took one of Oldham's special tablets, this is what he saw. Ahahahahaha...

@Teebore: Sadly I belong to one of the "crazy non-Empirical 'independent' book stores." I tried working at both Borders and B&N, but alas, none would take me.

Teebore said...

Ah, good for you! It's the secret dream of all us corporate drones to work at a store like that.

Just don't tell our masters. ;)