Friday, April 23, 2010

Is Wish This Was Retail Wednesday :(

Just letting you know this is The Week of Finals *dun dun dun*

I will be gone until the end of the month.

See you then! Well, I won't see you, see you...but... You know.

Monday, April 12, 2010

F is for Failure

I Feel like I haven't posted over here in Forever, so I wanted to write something Fast in order to not Feel like a Failure at liFe.

Or something like that. Plus it gives me an excuse to write some atrocious poetry:

Failure makes you cry
Bang out the question "why."
It makes you feel inept
And hate the word adept.

Failure writes your name
In sand- to wash away.
There is no hall of fame,
Just a line of yesterdays.

Failure makes you grow.
You're tough enough to know
Life ain't perfect
So get over it.

Failure gives you a chance,
To trip and fall and dance
And look at a crack, cracked floor
Which you never would have seen before.

In a word:
Failure is an Open Door.
Success is closed, locked and dead.
Which one do you prefer?

There you have it!

Fake Cheese *insert grossed out face here*

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

E is For...Eclectic Retail Wednesday

Today I will divide up this blog into three stories, all very different from each other.

1. Exasperation:

A few days ago a customer held up some chintzy thing and asked:

"Is it okay if I run this OUTSIDE to my husband WHO IS NOT IN THE STORE AND CANNOT BE SEEN FROM INSIDE OF THE STORE so that I can ask him what he thinks about it?" (emphasis added and might not have been said by real customer)

Me: "Uh. No."

Yes. I am very unreasonable. How dare I not let a strange woman take a non-paid for item out into the parking lot and into her car? I am such an unfeeling person and should be hanged.

Customer: Can I steal this creepy doll?
I want to say yes...

2. Enthralling

I was helping a gentleman find a gift for a friend. He was looking at the bracelets and asked if he could see one so I unlocked the case and handed it to him.

"You know," said he, "it's a little expensive, but she's worth it."

Awwwww.... Can you say adorable?

It was ruined only by my thought of the lady's I had overheard once, so all I could think of was, "I hope he's not trying to seduce anyone." Yes. There is something wrong with me.

Adorable Cuteness

3. Eh, creepy? or Aw, nice!

Here's one from memory lane. When I worked at Staples as a cashier I was helping a dude and he needed some heavy thing from the back. I called up a co-worker and they went to find it. Then they didn't come back. And I had other customers. The dude I was helping graciously stepped to the side so that I could help the massively long line, since I was the only cashier. (I blame this on corporate.) I thought, "That's nice." Until I realized he was kinda' sorta' STARING at me. Yup. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, relaxed, just watching me.

Can I say weird? Can I saw nerve-wracking? Can I say Are You a Stalker? I saw him from the corner of my eye, but tried to ignore him while I helped customers, and kept praying that my co-worker would HURRY up and bringing the dude's stuff up.

Finally, after a torturous amount of time, my co-worker brought up the guys large desk, or whatever, and I rang him up as quickly as I could without being rushed. I managed NOT to look at him like he was crazy, smiling and everything. (This was at the beginning of my time in retail, when I still had patience.) The guy leans forward and says,

"You have a very calming demeanor." He smiled. He left.

I kinda' wish I had said: "You do NOT have a very calming demeanor."

I still can't decide if he was being creepy, or if he was being nice.

Kinda' like dolls. Nice or Creepy?

Monday, April 5, 2010

D is for Dang Desperate

Okay, so last Wednesday Sonshine and I were heading out to the Thrift Store to find prizes for my contest. We did find these:

A Hawaiian leprechaun??
How cool is this? Pretty darn cool, that's what

Though, both were way too large to use as real prizes. Anyway, before we even got there my sis and I passed a real interesting person on the side of the road.

There is a white smudge in the distance...

Now, you can't see it (which is probably a good thing because the dude would probably sue me), but there is a dude pulled over on the side of the road. Wanna' guess what he was doing? You never will, I promise you. He is sawing wood. Yes. Wood. And not with a chainsaw either, and not some big hunk a' wood. He was taking branches as thin as my wrist and cutting them with a very small hand-held saw.

He must've been pretty desperate for some firewood.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

C is for Contest! Contest! Contest!

The details are over at My Other Blog, but I wanted to let y'all know that you guys are invited to join too. Having two blogs is definitely weird, and 'm realizing just how awkward it can be at times, like when I'm having a contest. So, if you're already following over here you don't have to follow both of my blogs (though you can if you want to), but for the rest of the directions you'll have to scamper off over there.

And that is all to this very, very short post.

Friday, April 2, 2010

B is for Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Finally, my sis and I have started watching Buffy, I had watched almost all of season 1 on Hulu (which was torturous, although I did laugh every time it came up saying "buffering" because Buffy and Buffering start with the same four letters, lame I know) but then my sis got the whole season collection (and the Angel seasons) for her birthday so I got all kinds of excited because I could watch them for real on a television and everything.

Except it took her stinkin' forever to actually getting around to watching them, and I wanted to wait and watch them with her because we're like that. Ahhh! It was terrible. Finally, though, we started watching them. We've watched one every night possible for the last month at least.

I LOVE it. Although, what kind of name is Buffy anyway? "Aw, I just had a baby. I'm going to name it a weird name that doesn't exist so that she can be made fun of for life!" What a cruel mother.

Mother: I will name you Buffy
Child: That's a stupid name.
Mother: Shut up! I'm naming you.
Child: You have a weird hat.


Spike just has some of the best lines EVER.

And Angel definitely is palatable (I think Joan Crawford originally coined that phrase), and Sonshine and I have agreed that Xander has his Chandler moments, which is great.

Ahahaha... Xander's hair!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

A-Z Challenge

Check out Lee's blog, Tossing it Out for the A-Z Blogging Challenge! I'm going to mostly be doing it over at my writing blog: Here! Here! Here! (Sorry, that sounds annoying, doesn't it?) But I will probably end up doing some posts (like retail ones) over here.

Basically the challenge is to write every day of April (except for Sundays) and to do the first one with the theme of something that begins with the letter A, and the next day B and so forth. It sounds interesting, and will help keep me blogging, so why not?

Oh. Because I might lose my sanity? Psha... That's not important.

*shudder* Creepy