Saturday, March 27, 2010

Evil Socks!

It is (sadly) an unknown fact that the world will not be overcome by communism, democraticism, or evil jellyfish. We will indeed be overcome by socks. Socks that look like this:

You can just see their evil intent leaking out of their very essence of being!

You see, I was walking along after Greek class with one of my friends, The Raspberry Moose, (um, that's what I call him in my head, but I don't think he knows that) and suddenly I stopped as The Raspberry Moose and the other dude, The Very Smart One, continued on walking. They realized I was staring in abject horror at the ground and turned, walking back to me.

"Uh? What are you staring at?" asked the Raspberry Moose (even though he dislikes the usage of the word 'asked.')

"It's a sock!" I pointed, aghast, at the wet as watermelon, dirty as a boy, sock.

"Yes," said The Very Smart One. I could here the sarcasm in his voice, Wow, how obvious you are, though he would have thought it in a nice sarcastic way, because he is not an evil, mean person like me.

"It's going to attack me," I said, still pointing at the dreadful thing. "Then it will attach itself to my mouth and I won't be able to breahte!" They ignored me, continuing up to lunch and I was forced to join them, because of the hungry pains in my stomach.

Later, on my way home, I was passing by the evil sock with The Raspberry Moose and my other friend, Dez. I stopped and nearly screamed my kidneys out.

There were two socks. The ugly used-to-be-white-now-grey sock, and a blue one. *Gasp!* I nearly keeled over. I explained to Dez that the socks were taking over the world and would soon be killing us all.

I don't think she believed me.

If she did, I think she would sleep with her windows locked and a gun at her side (though, my college probably doesn't allow that, since I know they took a sword away from someone.) So readers BEWARE! The socks are lurking out there, preparing to attack.

They will not look as cute as this


Falen said...

...where did the blue sock come from??! I mean, they can't walk, can they...?

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

GAH! We had evil socks in Borders the other day. A pair of them lurking in the reference section. I avoided that aisle like the plague. True story.

AchingHope said...

@Falen: I don't know, but I'm thinking maybe they can scrunch around. How else would that sock have appeared? I mean, who would go around dropping socks on the ground?

@Sonshine: Ugh. That's nasty grossness.

isaiah26mom said...

I strongly agree! I know because they are taking over our basement! I find dirty, stinky socks by the door, under the table, by the stairs, everywhere. And they keep multiplying! The only answer - put them ALL in the dryer. That is our greatest weapon against the attack of the socks!

verification word: nimoy - Leonard???

Teebore said...

...where did the blue sock come from??! I mean, they can't walk, can they...?

Maybe Sock Monkeys left them there...

Palindrome said...

I'm okay with evil socks taking over, it's better than evil feet. Feet are gross and should be smothered by socks.