Wednesday, April 7, 2010

E is For...Eclectic Retail Wednesday

Today I will divide up this blog into three stories, all very different from each other.

1. Exasperation:

A few days ago a customer held up some chintzy thing and asked:

"Is it okay if I run this OUTSIDE to my husband WHO IS NOT IN THE STORE AND CANNOT BE SEEN FROM INSIDE OF THE STORE so that I can ask him what he thinks about it?" (emphasis added and might not have been said by real customer)

Me: "Uh. No."

Yes. I am very unreasonable. How dare I not let a strange woman take a non-paid for item out into the parking lot and into her car? I am such an unfeeling person and should be hanged.

Customer: Can I steal this creepy doll?
I want to say yes...

2. Enthralling

I was helping a gentleman find a gift for a friend. He was looking at the bracelets and asked if he could see one so I unlocked the case and handed it to him.

"You know," said he, "it's a little expensive, but she's worth it."

Awwwww.... Can you say adorable?

It was ruined only by my thought of the lady's I had overheard once, so all I could think of was, "I hope he's not trying to seduce anyone." Yes. There is something wrong with me.

Adorable Cuteness

3. Eh, creepy? or Aw, nice!

Here's one from memory lane. When I worked at Staples as a cashier I was helping a dude and he needed some heavy thing from the back. I called up a co-worker and they went to find it. Then they didn't come back. And I had other customers. The dude I was helping graciously stepped to the side so that I could help the massively long line, since I was the only cashier. (I blame this on corporate.) I thought, "That's nice." Until I realized he was kinda' sorta' STARING at me. Yup. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, relaxed, just watching me.

Can I say weird? Can I saw nerve-wracking? Can I say Are You a Stalker? I saw him from the corner of my eye, but tried to ignore him while I helped customers, and kept praying that my co-worker would HURRY up and bringing the dude's stuff up.

Finally, after a torturous amount of time, my co-worker brought up the guys large desk, or whatever, and I rang him up as quickly as I could without being rushed. I managed NOT to look at him like he was crazy, smiling and everything. (This was at the beginning of my time in retail, when I still had patience.) The guy leans forward and says,

"You have a very calming demeanor." He smiled. He left.

I kinda' wish I had said: "You do NOT have a very calming demeanor."

I still can't decide if he was being creepy, or if he was being nice.

Kinda' like dolls. Nice or Creepy?

9 comments:

Summer said...

Dolls are CREEPY!
Teddies are nice.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

Ah! Creepy staring men. They like to haunt retail stores!

Joan Crawford said...

"You have a very calming demeanor." He smiled. He left.

He then went and ate kittens while saying "So calm, so calm, so calm..."

Eee! That guy was creepy. I once had a freak keep saying "Why don't you smile? Won't you smile for me?" in a soft creeper voice. Ughuh! It still makes me shudder.

And then I married him, go figure.

Ha! I kid, I kid!

Falen said...

Joan - LMAO!

Also, that last doll may be the creepiest doll i've ever seen. "Take me home!" it says in a high, sing-song voice...

AchingHope said...

@Summer: lol... Yes. Teddies are much nicer than dolls.

@Sonshine: Yours are much worse than mine.

@Joan: Ahahahahahahahaha...

@Falen: *shudders* Ugh. You just made it ten times creepier. Cue nightmares.

Al said...

Thanks for reminding me why I haven't worked in retail for a very long time!

Al

Publish or Perish

AchingHope said...

@Al: Haha... Yes. I cannot wait to get out. It's like a disease, I tell you.

Oh! And I keep forgetting to go over and read your blog, so I apologize for that. April is a bad month, but May I will get better, hopefully.

Thanks for reading and commenting! (Oh, and that last bit goes out to all y'all)

Teebore said...

"Is it okay if I run this OUTSIDE to my husband WHO IS NOT IN THE STORE AND CANNOT BE SEEN FROM INSIDE OF THE STORE so that I can ask him what he thinks about it?"

"Um, yes, could I just take this book out to my car, and then home, so I can read it and make sure I want to buy it first?"

People are dumb.

I still can't decide if he was being creepy, or if he was being nice.

When in doubt in retail, assume creepy. :)

Word verif: fleaf. A floor leaf.

AchingHope said...

"Um, yes, could I just take this book out to my car, and then home, so I can read it and make sure I want to buy it first?"

So, you've heard that line too?

People are dumb

Yeah. Pretty much.