Sunday, January 24, 2010

Fruits and Roots...

Some of you know of such things as "Vegetables."

We are Veggies!

I have decided that there are no such things as Vegetables.

No More Veggies!!

These objects of food formerly known as “Vegetables” are in fact classified as something much different. You see, either there are Fruits, or Roots, or Weeds. Why would I say such a thing?

Why would she say such a thing?

1) Fruits are classified as food that comes from a flower (or a seed bearing plant). This includes tomatoes (despite the Court’s ruling), cucumbers, green peppers, and so on, as well as the already accepted strawberries and blueberries and others. To say that tomatoes etc. are not fruits simply because they are not as “sweet” is utterly ridiculous.

Utterly Ridiculous... Haha!

2) Roots would include such things as carrots and potatoes. They live under ground before they are taken out of the ground to be consumed. There is no reason for them to be called Vegetables. Things that grow underground are roots, just like the under parts of trees.

Yes, this is a Sweet Potato Tree

3) Weeds are such things as cauliflower, lettuce and so on. A sub-category of Weeds would be the Stalks, like corn and wheat, and celery. Because weeds are tall and leafy and so are such things as cauliflower and lettuce and celery. Right?

Sweet Muffins! Purple Cabbage!

Hence my supposition that Vegetables do not actually exist. It is a mythological term and should be treated as such. Death to mythological terms!

Ah... Guns.

Not these kind of guns...

(Not a gun either)

Still not a gun... Though he's kinda' cute
And deadly! Cute is ALWAYS deadly

I will eat your face offf!!!

Never trust cute kittens. They will always eat your face off. Or melon-ball your spleen out. (More will come on spleen-spooning. I will post a link to my sister's site once it's done and uploaded. However, unless you follow the amazing Nikki Stafford it will make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

This is all to say that you should never say the word "Vegetables" "Veggies" or "Vegatalicious" ever again. Or else a rabid kitten will attack your face off. With a spoon.


His face was attacked by a spoon-wielding kitten.
The Pure Unmitigated Terror


SonshineMusic said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love the picture of the kid covered in spoons. Oh you are too too much. And of course I love you for it :)

verification: GraiCat - The name of that scary kitten on the other page. He haunts me in my dreams

Evil Blam said...

I am sure the reverse is also true, eh. Did you know that when a kitten eats your brains in a dream, your brains are really eaten? This is truth! And I know how to send kittens into your dreams. Sadly, the brains-eating they must pick up on their own, eh.

Evil Blam said...

Spleen, spleen, good for the heart! The more you eat, the more you need to floss to get the spleen ooot of your teeth, eh!

Blam said...

Sweet Muffins! Purple Cabbage!
Pink Hearts! Yellow Moons! Green Clovers! Blue Diamonds!

AchingHope said...

White socks! Rainbow pudding! George Washington!

AchingHope said...

Oh, and I don't think that the kittens would find much there, if you were able to send them.

Blam said...

White socks! Rainbow pudding! George Washington!
Okay, now you're just being weird. (Keep it up!)
VW: berest — A hat rack made especially for a beret. Maybe.