Things I Should Not Shout...

This is why I should not be able to speak in public:

The other day a man came into the store that I work at. It was kinda' wet outside and he had a shiny bald head and I nearly shouted out, across the crowd of customers, "Whoa! You have a shiny head!"

Oh. My. Garland.

I should not be allowed in public.

Then there was a young lady who came in. She was wearing a long flowing skirt and looked kinda' what I'd call girly girly, and when she came up to the register and spoke I again almost shouted stupid things.

"Man! You have a deep voice!"

As if that weren't enough. THEN I'm standing next to an older lady and I almost breathe out these words:

"Awww.... You smell like my grandma."

Which, I love my grandma, but I think most people would think that smelling like a grandma is a bad thing.

Which makes me wonder if I should become a nun and make an eternal vow of silence.

But then, of course, I wouldn't be able to randomly start singing in the grocery aisle.