Sunday, September 20, 2009

Post Number One

So, I can't think of anything to write about, so in honor of the title of this blog I will do something random to generate a topic. First I will pick a book at random off of my shelf. "The Lightning Thief" by Rick Riordan.

Now I will open to a random page and read the first word: "I'd." Okay, bad word, but let's roll with this. Now I will open another window and google.

"The blogger is somewhat of a free-roaming analyst, at liberty to write about any topic, from any perspective, without any obligation to corporate requirements." Tom Johnson (found at:

Now, I know nothing of this website, so don't kill me if it offends you. Of course, it would be difficult for you to kill me considering you probably don't know who I am or where I am. So it would be most surprising if you did find a way to kill me. Anyway.

It is true that bloggers are supposed to be sort of, I want to say soul-vomiting, but I know just how wonderful that sounds. Ah well, too late. So bloggers are known to be as people who "soul-vomit," which consists of being honest about what they are writing about. A fake blog is the equivalent of of a man who has lied to you for five years and you thought he was a man and he turned out to be a gnome and he was just waiting to jump out and attack you at any moment. That is not a nice thing to do. And secondly, it's just not something that happens. Ever. Now, if somehow you have been attacked by a gnome in this matter please let me know so that I can laugh at your face.

Next: This reminds me of a thought which I thought with my brain the other day at work. I was organizing the section of books about parenting when (quite randomly) I thou... Oh wait! This is all wrong! I was organizing the section of Love & Marriage and I saw this book about eHarmony, or something, honestly I can't remember. But it was a book written by some dude that has put together this internet thing where you can meet people and fall in live and all that. Which is when I discovered how tempting it would be for me to go on to something like that and pretend to be someone else and just play around with some poor unsuspecting person (like some creeper you read about) and it reminded me of Pendragon, LifeLight, and Gloid.

Gloid is describe here: and would look something like this:

And the fact is living in a virtual world, whether through a game, through a book, or through a dating website, is a very seductive thing. Like high heels and fish net stockings.

So it was very disturbing, looking at that book while sitting on the floor at work, realizing that I really am insane. Very much insane. And then I was very glad that I grew up in a family where I was taught that it's NOT a good thing to go around pretending you are a thirty-pound dog when really you are a little girl.

Which leads me to believe that one should be careful of losing one's mind to a world that does not truly exist. Like Middle-Earth...
Gaia Online:

Ooh! Ooh! Which reminds me! I've been going on Gaia Online to make avatars. Which I actually do through and it is so much fun! It's a great way to create characters that are not real. And I think it's a healthy (as long as I'm not doing it for days on end) way to create characters that aren't real that I can pretend are real.
You see, this is the reason that I am a Writer: because if I wasn't I would become a creepy stalker person.

*P.S. I know Middle-Earth is real, but there are those who don't believe and I feel a strange urging to cater to their whims.


SonshineMusic said...

This was the funniest thing I read all day! Ha and again I say Ha!

And I am glad to be part of the family that has made sure you know it is not good to pretend to be a large dog - you know, you must pretend to be a SMALL dog. Hello!

Blam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blam said...

This was the funniest thing I read all day!

Me too. As long as it doesn't cause some kind of intangible acid reflux, please, by all means, keep wittily vomiting your soul now and then. Nothing wrong with soup or socks or oregano, by the way.