Theatre Thursday

Oh wow. I haven't been over here in ages. Look at all the dust. Disgusting.

This is what the inside of my Blog looks like

Over the summer I got a job at a nearby (Ha! An hour away is NOT nearby) Playhouse and worked in the Box Office. It was small. And hot. And very interesting.

See? That's me with the hammer.

I was planning on having Theatre Thursdays instead of Retail Wednesdays, but that so didn't happen. I don't know why. Even though I worked like, 9-12 hour days, I only worked 3-4 days a week. But for whatever reason (that reason probably involving Rampaging Sheep, just because that would be awesome) I didn't. So instead I'm just going to write a couple of posts summing up the type of Crazies that we had:

1) The Most Popular Question:

Lady: Do you have a Senior Citizens discount?

Me: Lady, 90% of our clientele are seniors. I don't think so.

This is not what our Old People looked like.

A part of me wishes they did.

I had one woman who was not so easily disuaded...

Woman: Okay, then do you have a Military Discount?

Me: Unfortunately no.

Woman: A children's discount?

Me: Not really.

Woman: A disabled person's discount?

Me: Uh... Are you disabled?

Woman: No.

Me: Then no.

Woman: Well. Fine.

In this picture I am not the Frog, but I want to be.

2) Second most popular question:

Whenever we sell a ticket we always say: 'This sale is non-refundable with no exchanges or refunds it is a final sale" because tickets are non-refundable, there are no exchanges or refunds, it is a final sale. Weird, right? But still, we got calls All Of The Time with people saying:

"My friend got a stroke/had a heartache/their house flooded/they caught on fire/were attacked by cats/got sick/is having a child/car broke down/flat tire/ate tuna fish for lunch"

The excuses were endless. But unless you're dead, there's not much we can do. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Even if you call your credit card company and complain, after a whole bunch of hub-bub you will learn that credit card companies are not stupid and you can't return something when we told you NO.

Here's a crowd of our old people. Do you think the sign's big enough?

3) Third most popular question:

"Where's the bathroom?"

Okay. So that question isn't as epic, but it was commonly asked.

Oh my penguins. Look at this shower.

4) The fourth and final most popular question:

"Can I buy a ticket?"

Me: No. You can never buy a ticket, ever, ever, ever, even though you called this number just so that you could buy one, but because you asked I will say no and cackle at you over the phone like a maniac.

Me laughing like a maniac

That's all for now! I will try and write more next week.

P.S. Haha... I'm a doofus. I was just going to write this because I had time and didn't even realize it was Actually Thursday. How exciting is that?

Retail Wednesdays!

Sonshine and I are doing this whole, Retail Wednesday, and I really want to do this post (even though I really don't have time for this right now), so I'm just going to make it really quick, okay? (And I have a post I'm trying to do, but I'm having issues with cameras again, so it might be a little while.)

Anyway. Here is the next installment of Retail Wednesday:

Looking for books...

This happened a while ago, and it is similar to other stories I have told before, but I will try to make it as interesting as possible:

A customer calls saying that she is looking for a book.

"Yes?" I say, waiting.

"Well, it's by some guy named Dobson."

Uh-oh. This is not a good sign. "James Dobson?"

"Yes! That's it!"

"Well, do you know what the name of the book was?"

"Something about parenting," (almost all of his books are on parenting.) "I don't know, I thought it was kinda' expensive" (insert awkward laugh here).

I stare at the phone. So far she has been as helpful as a rabbit on drugs.

I am a bunny on drugs...?

"Well, he's written a lot of books, so I kinda' need a title."

There's a pause.

"Um... Do you know the title?" I ask.

"No."

"I can't look it up without the title."

"Fine! I'm going to Borders!" *click*

Mumbling, "They're going to need the title too..."

It was kind of disappointing, because I was hoping she would call Borders and have Sonshine pick up the phone. Because then Sonshine could have gone Karate on her.

Cat-rate Chop!

Then there was the time this older lady came up. She smiled.

"Would you like a cookie?"

"No! Never trust old ladies!" *shove*

I smiled.

I smile like a gorilla. Yay!

"Do you have a book. It is published by such-and-such, is 8 and 1/2 by 11, and has a blue cover."

(Why do they always have a blue cover?)

"You don't know the author or title?"

"No. But it's 8 and 1/2 by 11. There's not a lot of books like that."

I stare at her, unable to scream that I can not look up a book by the publisher, book size, or cover art. Mostly because she is a cute old lady, but also because my boss would probably fire me faster than two speeding grandpas.

"I will beat you, grandpa-man, with my shiny red scooter!"